Before my first sip of Starbucks today, it happened the first time. I was listening to a mom who has nothing but love for her adult daughter. They had met for lunch the previous week and the younger of the two women began to share with the older, her mom. The daughter's job "sucked", the others at work were "sub-par" humans, according to the spillings of the daughter. She was only working there to pay the mortgage on her condo, and, to add insult to injury, there was no "man in her bed." She was 30-something, lonely and headed straight down a dead-end.
"So, what's the outcome of that sharing?" I inquired. I was envisioning a follow-up Starbuck date, a time of deeper sharing, a break-through spiritually for the daughter.
"Well," replied the mom, "she's not talking to me! Yep! Happens all the time. We get together, she shares, I try to help and then it's worse than before! The nerve of that girl!"
"How come?" I asked. "Do you know what set her off?"
"No!", exclaimed the mom. "And after all I do for her! Why, after she dumped on me, I turned and looked her right in the face and said, 'Let me tell you about MY day, girly-girl! YOU think you have it bad, well, sissy, you're not the only one! In fact, you should be grateful for a job in this economy! Don't even think of quitting! And, it was YOUR idea to get into that condo, not your father's and mine! And as far as a man not being in your bed, well, missy, you're certainly not going to meet the right kind of guy in the places you've been going to!' I'm so frustrated with her! She comes to me for advise and then has the nerve to pull away after I give it to her!"
Fast-forward three hours.
I'm now AT a Starbucks! Another is sitting across from me, enjoying a green tea, no water. (Order it sometime!) She was losing the battle of trying not to cry while sharing.
"I'm so p.o.ed at church-people! I am SICK TO DEATH on hearing 'how faithful God is', 'what a loving God we serve' and 'God is so good!' Every time I try to honestly share my heart with someone, how frustrated I am, how much God has hurt me, how ticked I am at God, they can't shut me up fast enough with 'churchy-crap! Auugghhh!!!! I am SOOOOO tired of being shut-down by these people who think they are my friends!"
What was it that happened twice today? People, WELL INTENTIONED people,
got in the way of the Holy Spirit in the life of another. They SPOKE out of turn....too soon. too much, inappropriately.
What is it with us humans? I think we sincerely DO want to help others. BUT WE FAIL WHEN WE SPEAK TOO QUICKLY, TOO MUCH.
The LIVING WORD of GOD reminds us to "be QUICK to LISTEN, SLOW to SPEAK." Hummmmmm. Perhaps there's a reason!
Let's talk about this, shall we? I believe that most of us have been on the receiving end of this reality....receiving advise that we never asked for. Perhaps we've even given a bit as well....
Either way, let's interact about what happened today, twice. For, it is sure to happen again tomorrow if we are not aware.
Learning to slow it down,
Ele
