Transforming Together: Authentic Spiritual Mentoring

Thursday, September 30, 2010


The conversation was one-sided. The person I was with was repeating, for the third time, their financial situation.  Someone had done them wrong. Defaulted payments which, in turn, were putting them in discomfort, perhaps in jeprody. Not good.

I understood. I was feeling frustration and a bit of uncertainty in my own life as well. In these current times, perhaps no one is exempt.  Her remarks were reasonable, understandable, acceptable.

So, why was I feeling devalued, empty, and yes, a bit upset when our time together was over?

Upon reflecting, I think I know why:

There was no interest in anything or anyone beyond herself. She was totally absorbed in her situation, her world, her pain, her potential loss, her...

A basic biblical principle had been violated.

Scripture teaches us: "Carry one another's burdens"  Galatians 6:2
The art of "one anothering" is a not privilege.  It is a command to Christ-Followers that manifests itself as a gift.  Jesus understands the value of "carrying." To those who reach out, uphold and share; it is beautiful. It adds to life. It quiets the spirit and calms the soul.

Conversely, to other's whose main and perhaps, single thought, is themself, it is tragic. It is 'less.' It is disobedience. How exhausting to be driven by Self-Need.

So, what do we do in these uncertain times?  How does one carry another's burdens?

I would recommend the following:
1. Pray. Tell God. 
2. Thank Him for what He already has in mind for you.
3. Focus on the options before you, instead of repeating, over and over the wrong done you.
3. Ask others how they are doing in these tough times. Show interest. 
4. Pray with them as well.

God is in control.  Our future is secure in Him, come what may.

What brings God the most glory during uncertainty is how we choose to walk through rough times, not the absence of them. Who is Life all about, anyway?

The choice is daily.

Choosing to carry, Ele


Blogger GLENDA CHILDERS said...

I so love a true two sided friendship. And what a great reminder that I love it because it was God's design.


October 1, 2010 at 6:53 AM  
Blogger Kelly said...

Great post Ele! How does this apply when you are in a mentoring role? I would love to hear your thoughts on that!

October 2, 2010 at 10:23 PM  
Blogger Ele Parrott said...

Glad you posed the question, Kelly!

The role of a Mentor is to LISTEN with the intent of understanding the other person so that, when invited, one may pose questions to the Mentee that will help the Mentee clarify things in her own life. With that in mind, the Mentor enters such a conversation with her active listening skills in full throttle, not her INTERACTIVE social skills. The above scenario has to do with a conversation between friends where more of a 'give and take' is anticipated, not a Mentor/Mentee time together, where the purpose of the conversation is to clarify, not to mutually share. Indeed, the Mentor/Mentee ARE friends; however the INTENT of such a time together is not for mutual sharing.

Hope this helps to clarify.

October 4, 2010 at 2:05 PM  
Blogger Mommybefit said...

If all could read this...and be reminded of who Jesus is and how the choice of his wisdom is so much greater than our own? Wow...what a thought. Ele, you share the "easy pit" we can fall into when we choose a moment to be of a less than intentional faith in who we can truly be in Christ. Being human....ahhhh. It is so beautiful to sit alongside a friend who trusts us to let it all out and is comfortable with our response if any. I feel so encouraged by Jesus and His examples. How amazing! Boy, God is really teaching me lately in this area. I was just complaining about something to my poor hubby over an over for days when he himself has such tremendous pressure. Sad thing is I am intentional about not being intentional in these less than beautiful moments in who I am as a person. Then I happen along this post. Thank you God for using Ele, again to remind me of how truly wonderful your example is over my will. Again and again this verse keeps being shouted at, in me, and through me.....

Phillipians 2: 1-4
1If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. 3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

God is good and I too choose to "carry" along your side. May God give me the strength not to let go:-)

October 19, 2010 at 11:30 PM  
Blogger Ele Parrott said...

Your heart beat is felt in the pulse of each word, Kimberly. Thank you for not only sharing, but for LIVING OUT the intent of your words. You are truly a friend closer than a brother to many.

Thanking God for you, Ele

October 24, 2010 at 5:12 PM  

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